This light-hearted personal essay describes one man’s “quest to become the Perfect Husband, the Ultimate Man, the Guy My Wife Dreams Of.” Greg Hansen, a professional musician, has discovered one secret weapon: country music. “Before becoming the Highly Improved Guy I am today, I would come home after a long day in the recording studio, ready to de-stress and download, my full ration of words completely used up for the day. My wife would want to talk, but I just wanted the remote. Now, because I have memorized so many country songs on the way home, I always have the right thing to say. This has the effect of making me seem wise and romantic, preventing that annoying Empty Head Syndrome.”
Hansen gives several examples of using lyrics to impress his wife, then ends with a warning. His “marital relationship country lyrics cure-all” has to be done right, or disaster might follow.