1. Peter L. Berger and Hansfried Kellner, “Marriage and the Construction of Reality,” Diogenes 46 (1964): 1–24.

2. See David Reiss, The Family’s Construction of Reality (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1981), 166.

3. Robert N. Bellah, Richard Madsen, William M. Sullivan, Ann Swidler, and Steven M. Tipton, Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life (New York: Harper and Row, 1985); K. S. Bahr and H. M. Bahr, “Another Voice, Another Lens: Making a Place for Sacrifice in Family Theory and Family Process,” Thirty-third Annual Virginia F. Cutler Lecture, Provo, Utah, Center for Studies of the Family, Brigham Young University, November 13, 1997.

4. Bahr and Bahr, “Another Voice, Another Lens.” See also Dorothy Lee, Valuing the Self (Prospect Heights, Ill.: Waveland, 1986).

5. Scott Stanley, The Heart of Commitment (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1998).

6. Sherot Miller, Daniel Wackman, Elam Nunnally, and P. Miller, Connecting with Self and Others (Littleton, Colo.: Interpersonal Communications Programs, 1988).

7. Miller, Wackman, Nunnally, and Miller, Connecting with Self and Others.

8. Bonnie Burman, Gayla Margolin, and Richard S. John, “America’s Angriest Home Videos: Contingencies Observed in Home Reenactments of Marital Conflict,” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 61, no. 1 (1993): 28–39; Clifford I. Notarius and Howard J. Markman, We Can Work It Out: Making Sense of Marital Conflict (New York: Putnam, 1993); John M. Gottman, “A Theory of Marital Dissolution and Stability,” Journal of Family Psychology 7, no. 1 (1993): 57–75; John M. Gottman, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1994).

9. See “Conflict Tactics Scale” in Murray A. Straus and Sherry L. Hamby, “Measuring Physical and Psychological Maltreatment of Children with the Conflict Tactics Scales,” in Out of Darkness: Contemporary Perspectives on Family Violence, ed. Glenda Kaufman Kantor and Jana L. Jasinski (Thousand Oaks, Calif.: Sage, 1997), 119–35.

10. Mark H. Butler and James M. Harper, “The Divine Triangle: God in the Marital System of Religious Couples,” Family Process 33, no. 3 (1994): 277–86.

11. James M. Harper and Mark H. Butler, “Repentance, Forgiveness and Progression in Marriages and Families,” in Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family, ed. David C. Dollahite (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2000), 155.

12. See Gottman, “Theory of Marital Dissolution and Stability,” 65; Gottman, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail; and John M. Gottman, “Predicting the Longitudinal Course of Marriages,” Journal of Marital and Family Therapy 17, no. 1 (1991): 3–7.

13. M. H. Butler, B. C. Gardner, and M. H. Bird, “Not Just a Time-Out: Change Dynamics of Prayer for Religious Couples in Conflict Situations,” Family Process 37, no. 4 (1998): 451–78; M. H. Butler, J. S. Stout, and B. C. Garder, “Prayer as a Conflict Resolution Tactic: Clinical Implications of Couples’ Reports of Relationship Softening, Healing Perspective, and Change Responsibility,” American Journal of Family Therapy (in press).

14. Harper and Butler, “Repentance, Forgiveness and Progression,” 155.

15. Notarius and Markman, We Can Work It Out, 9.

16. Notarius and Markman, We Can Work It Out, 9.

17. Gottman, “Predicting the Longitudinal Course of Marriages,” 5.

18. Notarius and Markman, We Can Work It Out, 10.

19. Gottman, “Theory of Marital Dissolution and Stability,” 64–65.

20. S. R. Woolley, “Enactments in Couple Therapy: A Process Study” (Ph.D. diss., Texas Tech University, 1995).

21. Notarius and Markman, We Can Work It Out, 32.

22. Gottman, “Theory of Marital Dissolution and Stability”; Gottman, “Predicting the Longitudinal Course of Marriages,” 6.

23. Notarius and Markman, We Can Work It Out, 10.

24. Notarius and Markman, We Can Work It Out, 11.

25. The BYU Values Institute met in 1977 to discuss ideas and practices that might form a framework for a gospel-centered approach to human behavior. Among the members of the institute were Truman G. Madsen, C. Terry Warner, Victor L. Brown Jr., Stephen R. Covey, and Allen E. Bergin.

26. Allen E. Bergin, “A Religious Framework for Personality and Psychotherapy” (Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University Publications, 1977), 8–9.

27. Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966), 663–66.

28. See Carlfred Bartholomew Broderick, One Flesh, One Heart: Putting Celestial Love into Your Temple Marriage (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1986).

29. Allen E. Bergin, “Three Contributions of a Spiritual Perspective to Counseling, Psychotherapy, and Behavior Change,” Counseling and Values 32 (1988): 29.

30. Victor L. Brown, personal communication, October 1977, in Bergin, “Three Contributions of a Spiritual Perspective,” 29–30.

31. Roberta Magarrell, “Becoming a Transitional Character” (Ph.D. diss., Brigham Young University, 1994), 33.

32. Magarrell, “Becoming a Transitional Character,” 49–50.

33. Magarrell, “Becoming a Transitional Character,” 40.

34. Magarrell, “Becoming a Transitional Character,” 62.

35. Magarrell, “Becoming a Transitional Character,” 62.

36. Magarrell, “Becoming a Transitional Character,” 63.

37. Magarrell, “Becoming a Transitional Character,” 63–64.

38. Erik H. Erikson, Childhood and Society, 2d ed. (New York: W. W. Norton, 1950/1963), 267.

39. Erik H. Erikson, The Life Cycle Completed (New York: W. W. Norton, 1982), 67, italics in original.

40. D. P. McAdams and Ed de St. Aubin, eds., Generativity and Adult Development: How and Why We Care for the Next Generation (Washington, D.C.: American Psychological Association, 1998), xx.

41. A unique documentation of how temple themes may be woven into intergenerational family life was presented at the Women’s Conference held in 2000 at BYU. The printed and video versions are highly recommended resources for extending the discussion of principles in this chapter. See Ann N. Madsen in collaboration with Emily Madsen Reynolds, Mindy Madsen Davis, and Cindy Anderson Madsen, “And All Thy Children Shall Be Taught of the Lord: Bringing the Temple to Our Children,” April 27, 2000.

42. McAdams and de St. Aubin, Generativity and Adult Development, xix, italics in original.

43. David C. Dollahite, Brent D. Slife, and Alan J. Hawkins, “Family Generativity and Generative Counseling: Helping Families Keep Faith with the Next Generation,” in Generativity and Adult Development, ed. McAdams and de St. Aubin, 449–81; Alan J. Hawkins and David C. Dollahite, Generative Fathering: Beyond Deficit Perspectives (Thousand Oaks, Calif.: Sage, 1997).

44. Russell M. Nelson, From Heart to Heart (Salt Lake City: Quality, 1979).

45. Bruce C. Hafen, A Disciple’s Life: The Biography of Neal A. Maxwell (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2002).

46. See Erikson, Childhood and Society; Erikson, The Life Cycle Completed; Robert Coles, Erik H. Erikson: The Growth of His Work (Boston: Atlantic-Little, Brown, 1970); and McAdams and de St. Aubin, Generativity and Adult Development.

47. Erikson, The Life Cycle Completed, 67.

Mark H. Butler

BYU Studies Publications